Sunday, January 23, 2011

Day One of 30 Days of Truth

Here's the index. Seems like a great idea as a writing exercise and by way of introduction.

Day 01 — Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 — Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 — Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 — Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 — Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 — Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 — Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 — Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 — Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 — Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 — Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 — Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 — A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 — A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 — Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 — Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 — A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 — Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 — What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 — Your views on
drugs and alcohol.
Day 21
— (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22
— Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 — Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 — Make a play list to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 — The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 — Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 — What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 — What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 — Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 — A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

First off I don't hate myself; there's nothing about who I really am that I hate. There are definitely things about my past life that I would gladly swap or change, but since you can't change the past, all I can do is accept it. That's so easier said than done! I do believe in living my life in recovery so I find it helpful to always remember the serenity prayer originally from AA and Al Anon Twelve Step groups. "God help me to accept the thing I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference". If you meditate on this prayer, you'll find there's more to it then you may have first thought. I started my recovery from codependency long ago in Al Anon. Sometimes I feel discouraged by how much work I still have to do, because I think I should be further along by my age. I don't go to Al Anon meetings now, but I have recently realized once again the importance of disciplining and healing myself with a recovery programWhat I am really into these days is recovery from sick religion and Bible abuse, but hey that's a whole new topic!
This leads me to at least admit one thing I've hated about my life thus far: the fact that since age 19 I've been Bipolar Type 2 which was just discovered last year. I happen to be 56 now; all this time I have been misdiagnosed as having major or clinical depression. The difference is completely different treatment plans! I wish I could get all that time back, but I can't so back to acceptance. By God's grace I'm living my new life one day at a time. Hope you will follow my journey and share yours! ;-)

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