Thursday, December 23, 2010

I'm back!

I've been wanting to get back to blogging ever since JLand closed! Hopefully a few of you out there will remember me...
I was planning to wait until the new year, but I have a lot to say now so here goes. It's been a very challenging year for me, to put it mildly. Actually 5 months of it were pure hell. I have suffered from clinical depression that is disabling ever since age 19. I've been on a quest to try everything I can to recover my life. This entailed going to a depression research center and participating in their study. First I had to detox from all the meds I was on that were only half way (or less) working. Next I was put on Lithium, which was really awful for me regarding side effects; plus it actually did nothing for my depression and added a whole lot of anxiety and fear. Finally I was put on Effexor which my body rejected as well. For six weeks  I couldn't eat much of anything and was constantly nauseous. It did finally go away; then they had to find the right dosage. In the meantime, there was a period of at least 2 months in which I wished I were dead every day. I could not drive or even do my own grocery shopping. The goods news? With some trial and error, I at last felt better than I have since I was a teenager and for months at a time. This was fantastic after 5 months of not one day free from depression! 
I'm still good right now, but did have to go up on the meds once more; it has been a huge hassle with the health insurance company. The key for me was to go over the amount normally allowed per dosage. Right now I'm in California visiting my son for 

1 comment:

  1. Welcome back, Deb, good to see you posting. Hope your condition can be stabilised properly.